Hi Everyone! How are you? I am fine.
My first foray into the world of spice this week. I’m in no way a ‘chillihead’ but I’m not a baby either. I wouldn’t seek out spicy food just for the sake of it, but I’ve been known to put a bit of hot sauce on my eggs in the morning, and I’ve had the odd vindaloo in my time. This could go either way, but where will we end up?
There’s only one way to find out!
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| The unopened pack. A simpler, more pain free time. |
Taste
Straight in there with the headliner. This was
always going to be where it was won for lost for this product. Firstly, I should
mention that the crisps themselves were scary right out of the packet, their red
tinge setting an ominous stage for what was to come.
Initially I was disappointed, a little bit
spicy, but not a real chili taste. 8 Crisps in though and I’m struggling. Sweat
was starting to pour and I was in pain.
I stopped eating for a few minutes and it was genuinely
a test of bravery to start again. My lips were sweating, something that’s never
happened to me before.
I did persevere and the flavour started coming
through the spice a bit, a really smoky, chili flavour that would have been
nice if the spice pain wasn’t on its way back.
Much worse this time, not fun. I tried eating
quicker to try to outrun the spice, stupidity. It obviously caught up with me because
that’s not how taste works.
I couldn’t tell if I was crying or if the top of
my nose was just sweaty. Probably both. There was genuine pain and discomfort
there. I felt like this was going to be the last taste I ever experienced in my
life.
I ate about half the pack, but had to throw the
rest away. It really felt like the most responsible thing to do. I hate
throwing food away, but I didn’t feel safe keeping these things in the house,
mere metres away from where my children were sleeping.
I ate these for around 10 minutes, including a
break for about 2 minutes in the middle. I was basically almost OK again after
a pint of milk and 20 minutes later. At least
it gave me something to write about I suppose.
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| I ate some, then I ate some more, then I regretted a lot of my decisions. |
Texture
Really nice. Seabrook are an underrated brand
crisp wise. Eating these reminded me what a nice crisp they are and I will be
revisiting their less maliciously evil flavours. I’ve been a walkers man for a
while, but these made me reconsider that position.
They were everything a crisp needs to be, moreish,
crunchy, thick but not overly so. Delightful! (Until the flavour hits).
Packaging
You can’t say they didn’t warn us can you? They’re
in a black bag (everyone knows that black is the colour of pain), there’s warnings
plastered everywhere, a skull and fire motif, and 5/5 chili rating. What more
do you want? You’ve got to be an idiot to see all that and not prepare yourself
accordingly.
I really liked it, it had the Seabrook badge so
you know the brand, but it was it’s own thing and left you in no doubt what was
on it’s way.
Sometimes you get products pertaining to be
spicy that don’t provide the heat they promise. It’s not Seabrooks fault that
those other products have lulled me in to a false sense of security when they
deliver what they said they did is it?
I might sue Monster Munch, it’s their ‘flaming hot’
flavour that got me in to this mess in the first place.
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| Technically, you can say they didn't warn you, but it would be a lie. |
Marketing
A website where some people make silly faces
when trying the crisps. Some Twitter activity from the Seabrook account (https://twitter.com/SeabrookCrisps?lang=en),
including a competition to win a box of the crisps (why? Do you have a death
wish). Not bad, but not massive.
Seabrooks probably doesn’t operate on the
biggest advertising and marketing budget in the world though, so it’s a decent
effort
Novelty Factor
Tough. Spicy crisps aren’t a new idea, but
Seabrooks have taken it further than any of the other mainstream crisps brands
ever have to my knowledge. If someone had made a spicier crisp, I’m sure the deaths
would have been in the news, so it’s got to be a decent score.
They didn’t make the first spicy crisp, but they’ve
done it to the extreme. Fair play.
Final Scores
Taste- 5.5/10
Texture- 8/10
Packaging- 8.5/10
Marketing- 6/10
Novelty Factor- 8/10
Overall 36/50
Equal highest score so far, and I felt bad for
giving them the score I did for taste. It tasted how they said it’d taste, and
if you like spice, you’ll be happy, but you have to really like spice.
Which way did it go? Well, these were as spicy as an August Saturday, as
spicy as the planet Mars, as spicy as pavement, as spicy as a German cinema.
They were really f’n spicy. But it was too spicy for me and that’s got to be the
basis of my score.
These should need a license. You shouldn’t be
allowed to buy these under the age of 50.
Not sure what’ll be next time, but it won’t be
spicey I can tell you that.
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