Hi Everyone! How are you? I am fine.
I’m so excited about this review! There’s been something missing from these reviews for a while now.
An ‘elephant in the room’
if you will.
A ‘mouse in the house’ if you catch my drift.
A ‘fly in the ointment’ if you like,
A ‘fox in the henhouse’ if you don’t mind.
A ‘fox in the henhouse’ if you don’t mind.
A ‘free ride when you’ve already paid’ if you
should be so lucky.
A ‘lion in the jacuzzi’ if you were that sort of person.
Basically, I saw an advert for this.
But will it make any difference? There’s only one
way to find out!
Taste
Pretty decent. I mean, Greggs is Greggs, they
know how to what the people want and they know how to make the people want what
they want them to want. In my experience they do it without caring about the
health implications of their products.
That’s fine though, because we don’t expect
Greggs to be healthy, we expect it to taste nice and make us forget about how
joyless our lives are for the few minutes we’re eating. This did that well for
me, it’s not spicy enough to alienate the core Greggs demographic, but there’s
enough spice to avoid making a mockery of the ‘Cajun’ title of the product.
Sure, it’s not health food, but so what? Go and
have a cucumber for lunch if you want to live forever, and shut up about it
while you’re there.
No-one wants to hear about your cucumber.
 |
| Very clearly not a cucumber (wrong size and shape for example). |
Texture
Great as always with Greggs. I just think they
know how to do meat filled pastry (just like your mum by the way), there’s
enough veg to add some crunch to the texture and the chicken is cooked as well
as you can cook chicken in a mass produced fast food pastry environment.
Packaging
I could think of something brilliant and funny
to say, but I’m not going to. I Can’t really argue with my original Greggs
review for the Vegan Sausage roll I wrote all those months ago and I stand by
it:
‘Ah, problem. Greggs’ don’t really do
‘packaging’ per se. This came in your standard Greggs paper bag. Absolutely
fine, but no room for novelty there really, unless you know origami.’
Can’t say fairer than that can I? It’s a paper
bag and I’ve already spent more effort on it that Greggs have.
Bonus point for not being horrible for the environment (as far as I know, who can even tell anymore, am I right?).
Marketing
This is it! This is the exciting bit! The average
score in this section so far was under 4/10 and if you take out the last Greggs
offering it’s under 3.5/10, so when I saw this advertised on a phone box near
where I work and I nearly poohed my pants.
 |
| An Advert on a phone box, just like 1992. |
An actual advert! For a novelty food! I was
starting to think that this whole ‘marketing’ section was a waste of time for
everyone, that it was a cynical attempt on my part to bulk up a blog that was
already woefully short on content.
I needn’t have worried, because here I was, in
an actual street in actual England, looking at an actual advert for an actual
novelty food.
Proof (if proof were needed) that this section
was more than just padding! Dreams do come true people! I can die happy! (and
if I continue eating Greggs at this rate, I probably will).
Up yours Haterz, you can all go screw.
Novelty Factor
Well, I was worried about this one. Is a product
like this even novelty? In this day and age when you can get Cajun flavoured
things on every street corner?
I was so concerned I had to consult the rule
book. Luckily it’s limited edition, so it qualifies under the arbitrary, capricious,
inconsistent rules I’ve set myself for this irrelevant, immaterial, pointless
blog that no-one ever reads.
 |
| See? Limited Edition. #notaliar |
Phew! Close one!
Final Scores
Taste- 8/10
Texture- 7/10
Packaging- 1/10
Marketing- 8/10
Novelty Factor- 2/10
Overall- 26/50
A lowish score, which is a shame because it tasted
nice and I like eating it, which are the main criteria for deciding whether a
food is good or not.
In the end though it probably wasn’t novelty enough to
challenge at the top, and the paper bag let Greggs down (again).
Did that advert make a difference? Well I spent money in Greggs as a result of it, which is literally the point of adverts. I suppose you've got to give them that
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