Hi Everyone! How are you? I am fine.
I went to see Daniel Kitson do a show the other
night, and now it feels like all creative endeavour is a waste of time, because
if we’re being honest he’s clocked it mate.
I mean, it was always a bit of a waste of time, but
it does kind of put things into perspective doesn’t it? (rhetorical, it does).
Anyway, I drank some Fanta. Was it any good? Is
there any point anymore? There’s only one way to find out.
 |
| World's Scariest Orange Flavour Drink? |
Taste
They say the first taste is with the eyes (shut
up, they do), and this black Fanta is certainly striking. It looks black in the
bottle, it looks black once you pour it in to a glass, but if you start to look
closer it’s more dark greyish, and if you look even closer, and kind of slosh
it about it bit, it even starts to look light greyish. I’m ashamed to say that
I found this to be really off-putting.
It shouldn’t matter too much what it looks like
(I mean, I don’t even have a category for looks, which is why I’m shoehorning
it into this section),. It’s all the same once it’s in your mouth isn’t it
(that’s what she said), but it really kind of did make a difference.
No-one wants a grey drink, and while Fanta is
basically fine tasting, it did ruin it for me.
Did it taste worse that standard Fanta? Or am I
too mentally weak to separate the colour from the actual taste? There’s
literally no way we’ll ever know for sure.
Texture
Again, there’s 2 ways of looking at this.
A person capable of rational thought might say
the texture was pretty much the same as your normal run of the mill Fanta.
A person incapable of separating looks from actual
human experience might say this pointless grey drink had the texture of a
puddle.
Have a guess at which camp I’m in? Puddle water,
all day long…
 |
| A Grey Drink. Blame the focus groups? |
Packaging
At last a win for Fanta! What could be cooler
than a picture of a werewolf with an orange in its mouth? Nothing, that’s what!
Classic Fanta packing with a twist of something
special will always score well with me, and cashing in on Halloween season will
get you bonus points too.
The only downside was the packaging does seem to
imply that this is a black drink, and as it’s a grey drink, that makes every
single bottle of this product a stupid dirty liar, so points off for that.
Still, that wolf face eh? Spooky!
Marketing
Win number 2! Multiple (lying) huge posters on
sides of buildings, on busses, on phone boxes seen up and down this great
country.
Got to be a high score based on some of the
other pitiful showings in the category recently. Let’s face it, we need it!
Novelty Factor
It’s limited Edition (good), its Black (grey),
and I’ve never seen that before (also good).
I suppose I’ve never seen packaging for a major
product lie so brazenly. Is that worth points? Probably not behaviour we want to
encourage…
Final Scores
Taste- 3/10Texture- 3/10
Packaging- 7/10
Marketing- 8/10
Novelty Factor- 6/10
Overall- 27/50
So, not a bad score, somewhat saved by the
marketing team at Fanta. Fine, if that’s what you want, who cares if it’s grey
and looks like it could be dishwasher water. Good job Fanta, hope you’re happy,
very halloweeny.
There, I’m a man who’s seen Daniel Kitson and I’ve
still produced this fractured, rag-tag patchwork of half baked, substandard ideas. To answer my question at the start, it actually turns out there isn't really any point. Sorry everyone.
There’s no hope for some people.
Comments
Post a Comment