Hi Everyone! How are you? I am fine.
I’m a man of the world. I’ve been about a bit,
you don’t need to worry about that. I’ve had a Latte, I know what Eggs
Florentine is, I know a lady that can speak French, and I’ve recently been to London.
But just because a novelty food is all foreign
sounding and from that London, does it mean it’s any good? there’s only one way
to find out.
 |
| I can't think of redder food. |
Taste
Lovely.
Croissants are one of those underrated food
items (Jaffa cakes, cheese on toast, omelets, Frosties etc.). You go in to the
experience expecting nothing more than something that tastes fine and leaves
you less hungry than when you went in, but you come out thinking that actually,
they’re really quite nice.
This looked the absolute business. All shiny and
big and red (*snigger*), so expectations were higher than normal and it didn’t
disappoint.
Buttery, sweet pastry and the cream center does
what is was invited to the party to do and just makes everyone happy (like me
and my dancing).
Texture
2-0! Back of the net!
Soft pastry that’s both flakey and chewy. The
cream is what cream always is, creamy, so there’s that too.
Can’t fault it. I’ll have another.
Packaging
Unfortunate, but unavoidable. Brown paper bag, not
good enough.
Bonus point for not being made out of plastic,
but that’s it.
 |
| Brown Paper Bag- You try to think of something to say about it then... |
Marketing
Poor. It’s a relatively small shop, so
forgivable.
Or is it? The one chance for a small modicum of
marketing, and the absolute minimum requirement is the little cardboard sign,
and they couldn’t even get that to stand up straight.
If I wasn’t literally paying them for this
product, I’d call it amateur.
Do you know what? F’ it, it is
amateur.
Get your shit together Marleys. You’re better
than that.
 |
| Signage #fail |
Novelty Factor
Have you seen a big red croissant before?
Liar!/me neither!*
This was so ruddy red. Almost too red. Like a
worried ladybird. Like a spicy warning. Like it was angry. Red.
It was novelty as all get out.
*Delete as appropriate
Final Scores
Taste- 8.5/10
Texture- 9.5/10
Packaging- 1/10
Marketing- 0.5/10
Novelty Factor- 9.5/10
Overall- 29/50
 |
| Just Like Greggs, but more London. |
A good score considering the natural marketing
and packaging handicaps that comes without a major brand, so ca
n’t complain.
It tasted great, and I killed an hour of this
train journey. Winners all round!
Peace out everyone!
So does being southern and foreign sounding mean
you’ll be any good as a novelty food? In this case, absolutely! And How!
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